Friday, February 07, 2014

Someday our Prince will come...

Day three of the Bring Prince to Brum campaign and we're delighted to announce that the Buy Prince a Pint Fund has now reached the dizzying heights of £1.72. Suck on that Pudsey. In other news Mr Egg has promised Prince a meal fit for a king, so that'll be egg, egg, chips and egg then, and a well known gentlemen's club has offered a 5 minute lap dance with one-legged Lisa. The drop in centre for bored teens looking for free wi-fi aka the Library of Birmingham/Birmingham Library/the biggest waste of taxpayers money since 'The Public' has also pitched in with an offer to rename meeting room 4U as The I Would Die 4U Suite (staff only of course...intruders will be locked in one of those toilets designed for agoraphobic midget contortionists). All they ask is that he fixes the escalators, lifts and broken windows 'cos they can' afford to. Oh...and if he can remove all the suspicious stains mottling all the chairs and those weird slightly padded odd shaped things masquerading as somewhere to sit then they'll throw in a tour of the 'Secret Garden' as well. Bonus. Even Birmingham City Council has got in on the act by offering to paint the 'Floozie in the Jacuzzi' purple in return for a modest $500million donation to save them from having to flog the NEC to Poundland. If none of that sweetens the deal Prince just watch what the late, great Telly Savalas had to say about our fair City...and yes...Mrs Taylor's still up for it if you fancy a piece.

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