Kylie Audlist / Cookin’ On 3 Burners @ The Yardbird, Friday 11th September 2009

The cost of this evening’s entertainment? Bugger all. It’s part of Birmingham’s annual ArtsFest thingy and proof that our fair city can organise a piss up in a brewery after all. Who’d have thought it eh? If we don’t get City of Culture 2013 I’m going to scweam and scweam until I’m sick. We can have Ozzy performing in Centenary Square. Jasper Carrot in the Town Hall. And how about Duran Duran returning to The Rum Runner Club? Obviously we’d have to rebuild the place first, but that’s a mere detail.

Anyways, tonight’s gig was a bit of a funk fest, kicking off with ‘All Funked Up’, some DJ types. I’m not normally much of a DJ person. However I do appreciate that there’s a certain degree of skill in mixing all of dat shit together, and ‘All Funked Up’ (on top of choosing a frankly unbeatable list of tracks) were funking great. They provided the soundtrack to what appeared at first to be an impromptu B-Boy face off, the likes of which I’ve not seen since watching a 25p charity shop copy (on VHS – old skool stylee naturally) of Breakdance The Movie a few months back. The assembled crew threw down (I believe that’s the right term) an eye watering range of moves from the classic head spin to jumping up in the air and landing with one foot on the stage, one foot on the dancefloor…legs akimbo. Ouch. That’s one way to split your differences. From what I can tell these happenings are a fairly regular occurrence and there’s some kind of competition going on next Friday at the Yardbird too – with a grand prize of £50! Hell yeah. All are invited to take part, but unless you’re bloody good I’d stick to watching it from a discrete distance.

On to the main event/s. All the way from Melbourne, Australia…Cookin’ On 3 Burners! So called because one of the burners on their cooker broke in their communal flat. No, it’s probably to do with the fact that there’s 3 of ‘em and they’re cookin’ (ie playing rather well in the vernacular). That’s cleared that up then, but do they deserve the name or should they perhaps be redubbed ‘Bubblin' On a Low Heat’? (I'm on fire today aren't I?). Well, I was lucky enough to see Sharon Jones and The Dap Kings (the undisputed Queen and Kings of the old skool soul revival) play this very venue last year and they come damn close to stealing their crown. Bass, drums and a Hammond organ. The holy trinity of funk. Whilst a kicking brass section would’ve been the cherry on top, for a three piece CO3B were as tight as me at the bar. And you don’t get much tighter than that. After playing an ass shaking set for around half an hour they were joined by Kylie! Kylie? At the Yardbird? In those hotpants? Hubba hubba. What’s that? Oh…a different Kylie is it. Righty ho. I’m guessing there are a fair few Kylie’s in the world other than Ms Minogue, but she’s one of those singers…like Madonna, Iggy or Englebert…who just kind of owns the name. Whereas THE Kylie is a bit of a pop legend, THIS Kylie (also from Oz) is more of a soul diva, along the lines of our very own Alice Russell (with shades of Macy Grey in some of the vocals too…a touch of gravel in the voice that’s just sooooo damn soulful it hurts). The club was packed out, sweaty (Kylie acknowledged that this was ‘The hottest I’ve ever been in England’) and a few brave B-Boys (and girls) were at the front all night dripping and flipping their way through the set. Like the last time I was at The Yardbird the place somehow recaptures some of the spirit that you’d imagine existed in the US in the glory days of soul and funk. Not a bad achievement for a bar in Birmingham. Kylie’s set was a triumph. ‘Push It Up’ and ‘This Girl’ in particular stood out. That’s one sweet, soulful lady and, if you’re a fan of Quantic, Alice Russell, soul, funk…hell, just music in general…she’s an essential listen. The set closed with an instrumental number. A cover version. Of Cars. By Gary Numan. Yes. I know. Inspired. You can (and MUST…I insist) listen to it on Their Space. What's that? You can't be arsed? Oh alright then I'll stick it up here (see below). Despite my somewhat impoverished circumstances (such is the life of a freelancer) I bought a couple of CD’s (does anyone else buy CD’s these days or is it just me? Thought so). Now, all I need to do is to spend the next 7 days listening to them and spinning on my head whilst doing the splits and throwing my limbs out of their sockets and that 50 quid is mine…